Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The feeling are messing with the penis
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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