Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
