She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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