apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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