Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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