Heybabeimwearingurpanties
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
