What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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