Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
