It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
