he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
