If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
