Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
