I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
