there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
