After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
