um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
