When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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