pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So many bounce houses so little time
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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