Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
