dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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