They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
