why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
