David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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