I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
