i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
