New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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