Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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