So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
