"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
