i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
