Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
