I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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