never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
