I am puke
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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