Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize