You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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