hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
