1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
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