so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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