Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again

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(443): View more from Maryland

Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?

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(940): View more from Texas

I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl

(1-940): View more from Texas

you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.

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(914): View more from New York

just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.

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(419): View more from Ohio

apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.

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(360): View more from Washington

That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.

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