I don't think brook has ever known best
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
