Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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