I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize