I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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