giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
