Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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