By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
