does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
