She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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