Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Damn victory sex feels great
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
