): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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