just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
