this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
