I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
