Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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