When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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