Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There r osticjed everywhere
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
