You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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