OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize