brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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