i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
