dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
