never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
