So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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