why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
