I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
