Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
