actually, I'm a sock model
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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