It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
