Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
