are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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