Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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