Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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