He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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