fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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