Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
