toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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