He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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