Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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