I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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