My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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