DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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