Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
