Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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