Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
